Jul032009
Honesty with myself
Filed under Confession by kristen at 1:50 pm on Jul 03 2009
I think a very important aspect of permanent weight loss is being honest with yourself. If I am going to be totally honest with myself, I haven’t done a very good job consistently for the last 9 months with my eating. The last nine months have been probably the second hardest time in my life. A lot of unexpected changes that occurred in our life that were heartbreaking and the loss of my Grandfather.
It was almost like I was on a roller-coaster of sorts. Up and down. Down and then up. Tracking points then being too sloppy with tracking points. There is such an emotional aspect to my eating that I am still working on. I am working on approaching eating more for fuel for my body than my drug of choice. Even in the past month with the loss of my Grandfather, I have turned to my drug of choice despite knowing that I was on a slipper slope.
So today, I forced myself to go and weigh in at the center. I am finding that I still need that weekly accountability. The outcome: 7.8 pounds over goal and even more over my own personal goal. But it is the 7.8 pounds that must come off. No more. I hate even typing that but I know that it could be much worse. Thankfully this past week, I worked hard and lost 2 pounds.
Being honest with myself, I am fighting the feelings of failure but I am going to use that energy to focus on counting the points, getting in the exercise and all the things I know I need to do.
I started today off with a 2 mile run. Still strongly considering the half marathon the first of December in Las Vegas. I really want to do is so I think we are going to try to make sure I can go with Chris and run it. I think it will help me focus on being consistent with my running.
The most important thing I have learned is that I need to quit living in denial and be honest with myself. Honesty.
1 Sharon Hiteon 03 Jul 2009 at 2:43 pm
Hi Kristen, You are not alone in your battle. I have battled the same issue for probably more years than you have been alive!! I suspect I have lost about 500 pounds and have never weighed more than 148 at my highest when I was in high school. So that tells you that I too lose then gain the same 5 to 10 pounds over and over again. If you ever figure out the solution to that, other than self control, of course, you will be a very wealthy woman. Thanks for your posts and your honesty.
2 Roxanneon 03 Jul 2009 at 8:35 pm
Kristen, I’m in the same boat. As of 3/2/09 I had lost almost 16 lbs. I have now put it all back on. The last 4-5 weeks have been uncontrolled non-stop eating. It’s been awful. Everyday I wake up and swear today is going to be better but it’s not. I’m at a loss as to what to do. I’ve decided to not deal with it for a few days, then I’m going to take a different approach. Since the WW doesn’t seem to working for me–I’m going to try and follow the Biggest Loser 30 day jump start and see if I can get a new perspective. Good luck to you, there’s more of us in the same boat.
3 Karen/Momon 03 Jul 2009 at 9:53 pm
I will do everything I can to help take care of the girls so you can run the half in December. I am so proud of you. You can do it, all.
4 Sarahon 04 Jul 2009 at 6:53 am
I am battling a different issue with weight loss. I just found out that my cortisol is real high–the lady that ready the saliva test says I will have trouble losing weight until the cortisol problem is solved. I joined WW (AGAIN) in 1-09 and have lost 12 lbs and believe me it has been a struggle. Grant it the cortisol isn’t the only thing to blame because I get so frustrated when I have a good week and still gain. It is really hard to stay OP when I don’t see results. But I am not giving up. I WILL DEFEAT THIS PROBLEM.
5 Angel Alteron 06 Jul 2009 at 11:09 am
Kristen,
Your honesty humbles me. It takes courage and being a true grown up to be honest with oneself let alone a whole “community” of people. I am proud of you. I see you almost every week at weigh in and you are beautiful.
Angel